This often isn’t the case, but your partner’s energy levels and interest in sex might wax and wane with their mood. If you’re dating someone with depression, the road can be bumpy, but with treatment and support, it may not feel as overwhelming. You’re a partner not a mental health professional — you can’t Look at this “fix” their depression. What you can do, however, is help them find the resources that might help. It’s pretty understandable you’d want to immediately reassure them these beliefs are completely false. But you can’t talk someone out of depression, so this can sometimes backfire pretty explosively.
Despite years of silence between us, I figured our friendship would pick up right where it left off. We could all do with a hug and an ear to listen in our support system. I have told him repeatedly that he does all of these things- thinking maybe he’s just unaware.
They may spend a lot of time crying
Maybe they insist you’re just trying to make them feel better or shut down and stop telling you how they feel. This disinterest, known as anhedonia, happens commonly with depression. Treatment can help renew their interest and energy, but in the meantime, offer compassion instead of criticism by validating their feelings. Treatment helps improve depression symptoms for many people, so you might think it’s best to urge them to see a therapist. But saying things like, “You should go to therapy” or “You need help” may only make them feel worse. Some people feel afraid to share suicidal thoughts with loved ones.
While watching your partner suffering from depression can be painful, know that you cannot “fix” them. And trying to fix it will only belittle the illness in your partner’s eyes and leave you feeling more frustrated. Be mindful that depression can make people act differently than they normally would.
Are they willing to work on it—and actually follow through? Can they communicate effectively and display emotional intelligence? If not, Nuñez and Page say it’s unlikely to be a successful relationship. If you find yourself repeating the same old patterns and attracting the same kinds of people, don’t assume this time around is going to be any different. Similarly, you want to recognize your own triggers if you’ve been hurt before. What you might perceive as a red flag could very well be a projection, Page notes.
Not taking care of yourself can also make you less capable of helping them. Consider learning all you can about the type of depression your partner has and its symptoms. This can help you understand your partner better and have a better idea of how to support them. But knowing the symptoms of depression and how to recognize them can help you know what to expect and how to offer help and support. If you’re in a relationship with someone who has depression, knowing how best to support them can be hard.
Save the Advice
Trial participants were analysed 16 weeks after their treatment ended. Boundaries help those around you know your limits and expectations. They’re also important for maintaining your mental well-being. Research from 2015 suggests hiding your anxiety may increase the severity of your symptoms. By focusing on what you can manage — like date location, mealtime, transportation, and activity — you can help make the atmosphere as predictable as possible. Much has been explored about anxiety over being rejected, but emerging research observes the fear of rejecting others, as this 2021 study abstract details.
You can’t fix your partner’s depression or take away their pain, but you can offer an empathetic ear and emotional support. If you feel overwhelmed or concerned about your partner’s wellbeing, don’t hesitate to reach out for professional help. Depression is one of the most common forms of mental illness. In relationships, we must continually assess whether we should meet the needs of our partners, our own needs, or the needs of the relationship.
Face-to-face time is more important than ever
Disciplinary actions, being late all the time, or even getting fired, if it isn’t their normal work ethic, point to depression. When depressed, working doesn’t seem like anything but a waste of time and trivial. If you have ever found yourself dating someone with depression, you likely have a lot of insider relationship tips to share.
I would not date anyone who refused to help themselves. As far as taking antidepressants, I assume post pandemic a lot of people who were not previously struggling with depression and anxiety now are. I was off them for over a decade, but the pandemic + divorce + menopause made me go back. You are not your partner’s therapist, you don’t have to take the responsibility of healing them. All you have to support them through their road to recovery. Did you know there are 17 million American adults who are dealing with depression at present?
“It is easy to get discouraged when dating online,” she says. “It takes skill to know how to navigate online dating to find someone special.” “Therapy might help you to work out any issues you have in order to go forward in your relationships and not repeat past mistakes,” Friedman says.